AprilandJake.com

Brethren,

The morrow will bring a feast of the word. May it also bring a feast of food and festive chatter. You are hereby summoned to April and Jake's stake building to participate in the viewing of an epic General Priesthood Meeting broadcast, to be followed by the iciest cream and a good game of Spinergy. All in favor, reply to this email with an emoticon in the affirmative. Any opposed, your silence will be interpreted as such. In good manly fashion, this is being announced the night before. But, breaking with the male tradition, I provide details below:

Meet at our house at 5:40pm

The viewing shall commence at 6pm and continue for 2 hours in succession.

Following the singing by the choir and the benediction, we shall make for our starting location post-haste to commence ice cream consumption and spinning of the Spinergy mechanism.

---- end details

April, interjecting her angelic vocals into this otherwise masculine letter, is quick to remind the wives and other womenfolk that may not attend said broadcast but nonetheless similarly gravitate toward food and festivities and above all chatter are invited to join with her in waiting out the return of the gallant men who will, for 2 consecutive hours stare at a large projection screen and then quickly return home on the one of two singular days of the year where such a display will be considered gallant.

I eagerly await your reply.

Yours in manliness and priestly duties,
Jake